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"If I'm Not Perfect, Then I'm a Failure🤷‍♀️" Overcoming All or Nothing Thinking

Often due to a life-long battle of personal disappointments, many ADHDers are prone to all or nothing thinking.

With an all or nothing mindset, we believe that nothing we do is good enough. We can become so overwhelmed with doing something perfectly that we end up doing nothing.

We feel paralyzed with stress...So it takes us longer to get started...Then we stress more about not getting started!

This thinking can apply to other aspects of our lives. If someone says or does something upsetting, we may unintentionally categorize them into a negative box or someone else’s mistake in a project might ruin the whole thing in our minds.

We may spend a long time overthinking a simple task like sending a message or we may feel like no one can do things the way we want them done, sometimes not even ourselves.

Criticism - even constructive - can flood us with emotions. Sometimes we may attribute our successes to coincidence but feel that failures are entirely our fault.

All or nothing thinkers are often prone to neglecting to set boundaries with work and stop working at a reasonable time. We often feel upset over what we should've finished instead of focusing on what we actually finished.

If you want to change your mindset when it comes to all or nothing thinking, consider the following...

  • CHALLENGE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS When we catch ourselves using words like "always" and "never" talk it out loud or in your head and reframe those statements with logical reasoning.

    • Instead of "I'll NEVER get that promotion...", say "Maybe it's time to try a different position..."

  • GETTING COMFORTABLE WITH STOPPING AT 'GREAT' So often we feel like we've done a great job..."But I could do better." Practice stopping at ‘great’ instead of killing ourselves for an unreachable ‘100% perfection’.

Manage your mindset in our 8-week emotional regulation program for adults: Healing ADHD Emotions

I believe in you,

Coach Brooke

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