I just got back from an AA meeting. The topic was what are you doing now and next for your recovery?
Lately there have been a lot of people relapsing. And dying.
I just ran into an old business acquaintance. During the pandemic, he put back on the 45 pounds he had just taken off which he had just put on. He yo-yo’s but he also drinks hard.
Got together with a lawyer friend (same age) whose kids are stuck not graduating high school, paralyzed by ADHD during the pandemic. He’s had a life of panic attack disorder.
Universal suffering is off the charts right now, so it was timely to discuss where people were at and what was next to in recovery.
Which raises a point-in mental health recovery, it’s continue to recover or risk relapse into that darkest of places.
It’s the same in all mental health recovery. Recovery is a daily, continuous process. The eating disordered. The chronically depressed. The anxious. The people who’ve finally stopped placing bets. The person who finally has the courage to stop cutting. They all have to continue to recover.
But why? I call it “The Black Hole Theory”, and it goes like this:
There’s a small dark vacuum-force in our minds which slowly pulls us toward it unless we take steps away from the black hole every day. Every day that we take action to recover we go further into the light, but if we don’t walk farther away, we are drawn closer to the dark. And then we hit the “give up” point and allow ourselves to be sucked into the darkness.
The “Fuck-its” take over. The darkness is familiar and comfortable and we get to give up.
Once in the darkness, the will to fight it does not exist. I believe that’s why the chronically depressed give up on their meds, alcoholic drinks after years without drinking and the user uses after valiantly detoxing.
They don’t walk forwards and get sucked in backwards.
What I’m saying is inertia can equal death-it’s just not enough. Those who struggle due to their minds must always walk towards the light, away from the dark. Giving up can seem irresistible, and once in the darkness, one might never make it out, yet again.
As a coach of ADHDers, addicts and others in mental health recovery, I help people grow in all areas of their lives, to find balance and recover their lives.
We take a snapshot of where they are in the important areas of their lives, set goals, and I help them get there. We need balance, and as long as one tire is off, the whole car drives poorly.
If you are one who struggles because of your mind, I suggest coaching. If not with me, with some good coach. The accountability and partnership keep you walking towards the light and away from the dark.