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When Does ADHD Become an Excuse?

  • Aug 1
  • 2 min read

Updated: Aug 4

ADHD explains a lot.


It explains forgetfulness, time blindness, emotional intensity, task paralysis, and the mountain of unfinished projects on your desk.


A woman looks out her window.

It explains why you’re overwhelmed, burned out, and frustrated, even when you care deeply about what you’re trying to do.


And it absolutely should be part of how we understand ourselves.


But sometimes, when the struggles pile up, a tough question comes up:


Am I giving myself grace? Or am I hiding behind my diagnosis?

Let’s talk about it.


A woman getting ready in the mirror has a question mark for a face. "I'm just bad at this." "Why bother?"

The Line Between Grace and Avoidance


ADHD impacts how we function, not how much we care.


Executive dysfunction isn’t laziness.


Emotional dysregulation isn’t being "too sensitive."


They are neurological realities, not character flaws.


So yes, there will be days when you genuinely can’t.


And that’s valid.

But other times, we tell ourselves we can’t… because deep down, we’re afraid we’ll fail if we try.


That’s when things get murky. That’s when self-protection can quietly turn into self-sabotage.


A Venn diagram with one side “Self-protection” and the other “Self-awareness,” overlapping in “Compassion + Accountability.”

Excuse vs. Explanation


An explanation helps you understand your brain. It fosters compassion and accountability at the same time.


An excuse, on the other hand, shuts down responsibility. It puts a period where there should be a comma.


One creates movement. The other creates stuckness.

If you’ve ever found yourself saying things like:

  • “I’m just bad at showing up.”

  • “That’s my ADHD brain again 🤷‍♀️.”

  • “I can’t stick to anything, so why bother?”


You’re not alone. These are real feelings, not failures.


But they don’t have to be the final word.


A toolbox opening with tools labeled: “Support,” “Structure,” “Pause Button,” “Self-Talk,”

Try This Shift: Instead of Excusing, Get Curious


When you mess up, shut down, or fall short, try asking:

  • “What do I need right now?”

  • “What support would help me try again tomorrow?”

  • “What story am I telling myself about this mistake?”


You might realize you need a pause, more structure, a different strategy, or just a moment to be kind to yourself before trying again.


These small moments of curiosity crack open the door to forward motion.


A phone showing test messages with "Me" read: I’m just bad at showing up. That’s my ADHD brain again. I can’t stick to anything, why bother? Yes, ADHD makes consistency harder. But if we stop trying altogether, we’re not just accommodating our brain… We’re giving up on it. And we deserve better than that.

You’re Not Broken. You’re Still Learning.


Having ADHD doesn’t mean you’re unreliable. It means you need a different approach.


You don’t have to weaponize your diagnosis to prove a point. You don’t have to hide it out of shame. You just have to work with it.


Yes, ADHD makes consistency harder.


But if we stop trying altogether, we’re not just accommodating our brain… We’re giving up on it.


And we deserve better than that.


Try. Adjust. Learn again.


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No excuses for your greatness, ;)


Coach Brooke

Brooke

 
 
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