The Misunderstood Magic of ADHD Kindness

On the surface level, ADHDers are often labeled as creative, resilient, or funny… but what’s frequently missed?

 ➡️ Our genuine care for others, even strangers

 ➡️ Our acts of big-hearted empathy

➡️ The fact that we do our best to show up for others, even when it feels impossible for ourselves

Kindness is like common sense to many ADHDers. It often comes naturally after the criticism we’ve been through.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and that lifelong sense of “being too much” make us extra aware of not making other people feel badly. We often know what it's like to feel left out or isolated and wouldn't wish that on anyone else.

Emotions feel BIG with ADHD. Joy, love, hurt, and empathy often come in waves, not trickles.

Those feelings absolutely apply to the people we care about. There's a deep, often unseen compassion many ADHDers carry, even when it’s misread or overlooked.

Ways ADHD Kindness CAN SHINE

✨Noticing when someone’s energy shifts before words are even said

✨Remembering random details they shared months ago

✨Always willing to help, even if they are a stranger

✨Making sure others feel heard and included in a group setting

✨Genuine and heartfelt in ways that are deep and unforgettable

✨Sending random “just thinking of you” messages

We might notice that we have a higher standard of kindness compared to our peers. We might expect others to show what's supposed to be considered "basic kindness" like holding the door or putting their shopping cart back.

Due to our justice sensitivity, these moments when people subvert our expectations can make us feel frustrated, baffled, and even infuriated. How could you not do this simple thing that benefits society?

We often share genuinely and generously, sometimes not anticipating others to misuse that kindness. Then feeling upset with ourselves for “letting it happen”, even if we were tricked.

What Can We Do About It?

• Accept where People can meet you Don’t drive yourself insane expecting kindness from people who aren’t willing, capable, or aware enough to meet your output.

  • The ways people act are result of their life experiences, not you.

• Kindness Doesn’t Mean Unlimited Access Your warmth is magnetic, but that doesn’t make you public property. Protecting the energy that makes you so generous in the first place does NOT make you “unkind”.

  • Let your kindness be a door, not a revolving one.

• Being “Too Much” Isn’t a Problem—It's a Compatibility Test ADHDers often love loudly, help enthusiastically, and feel everything big. (It’s your magic!) The right people won’t just tolerate your kind heart—they’ll celebrate it.

  • Stop shrinking. Start screening.

• Don’t Let Your Empathy Override Your Intuition Just because you understand why someone acts the way they do doesn’t mean you have to keep them close. You can care deeply and still walk away. You’re not abandoning anyone—you’re choosing self-trust over self-sacrifice.

  • Empathy is not an excuse to stay uncomfortable.

• Consider Cultural Differences Again, the ways people act are a direct result of their lives. It has nothing to do with you. That includes their parents, homelife, school, and cultural differences.

  • For example, in Japan it's considered very rude and ill-mannered to blow your nose in public─it's like a burp or fart. It's more polite to continually sniffle until you can go somewhere private.

Feel more confident in your ADHD management when you discover all the strategies to escape the chaos in my "Activate Your ADHD Potential" workbook

Stay Kind,

Coach Brooke