“Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket.”
-Miguel Cervantes
Examples:
“I really want to buy that house but it is WAY over what I wanted to spend.”
“I have to have THIS job.”
“I am going to make THIS person LOVE me.”
“I have to do things THIS way.”
Many of us ADHDers have “now or not now” thinking. It can be hard to see what’s past our important decision and pivot to make a different one (a different house, a different job, a different partner to date, a different routine or way).
We may be so certain on our decision that we can overlook red flags.
When we're particularly excited about a job position, we may more easily accept disproportionately hefty workload demands compared to pay rate.
When infatuated with a partner, we may struggle to see beyond the initial excitement to consider whether the relationship is truly fulfilling and sustainable in the long run.
The challenge lies when it's time to pivot, to shift focus, and to explore alternative paths. This requires us to step back, reassess priorities, and consider the bigger picture.
When feeling like you are STUCK on this ONE way or choice, try following the steps below that I have used personally and with my clients to pivot:
1- Create a pattern interrupt: go for a walk, change your environment, take a shower, or have a snack, and come back to this decision. Ideally - if you can - wait 24hrs. When emotions are in play, it can be REALLY HARD to see outside of your decision.
2- When coming back to the decision or choice, ask yourself "What would my life be like if I did not choose this decision?"
3- "What other options and possibilities do I have?"
4- "What would these other options provide me?"
5- Start putting together an action plan towards finding another way!
… And you NEVER know, you might choose or find something better or your first option might fall into your lap the way you wanted it to!
If you're ready to learn tools and strategies to change your mindset with ADHD, my 2-in-1 book/workbook 'Activate Your ADHD Potential' is the BEST place to start!
The Choice is Yours,
Coach Brooke
