What Makes ADHDers Overexplain?

If you’ve ever found yourself halfway through a long-winded explanation thinking,

“Why am I still talking?”

You’re not alone.

Many ADHDers have been told we:

• Talk too much

• Go off on tangents

• Share too many details

But what if our overexplaining isn’t just about talking… but actually about protection?

The Deeper Reason We Overexplain

Before many of us ever got diagnosed, we were already explaining (or rather, defending) ourselves.

Every forgotten homework assignment, impulsive comment, or missed cue became a moment we had to “make up for” or “talk our way out of.”

We learned to:

• Justify our quirks

• Apologize for mistakes

• Try to make sense of what didn’t make sense to others

Overexplaining became our way of managing disapproval, avoiding shame, and trying to get ahead of being misunderstood.

It's not just chatter... It's self-protection disguised as context.

What’s Going on Inside the ADHD Brain?

Here’s what fuels the habit:

🧠 Out-loud Processing

We literally think while we speak. It’s how our brains sort things out in real time.

🧠 Executive function Overload

When planning, filtering, and prioritizing are tricky, it’s hard to trim a message down. So we just… say it all.

🧠 Working Memory Gaps

Sometimes we overexplain because we’re trying to remember the point as we go. We fill in the gaps while searching for what’s actually important.

Add in a Few ADHD Extras…

• Social anxiety: Talking to fill silence or manage discomfort

• Impulsivity: Blurting more than we meant to

• Perfectionism: Over-explaining to make sure it came out “right”

All of these factors combine to make overexplaining a default mode, but not always a helpful one.

How to Practice Saying Less (Without Losing Yourself)

Let’s be real: You don’t need to turn into a robotic, one-line answer machine. But you can shift the habit.

Here’s how:

🎤 Use a Headline, Then Drop the Mic

Start with the short version — then stop like you meant it.

“Sorry I’m late — traffic was bumper to bumper.”

If they want more, they’ll ask. Imagine you’re giving the news.

🧭 Use a Self-Check

Ask yourself:

“Did I answer the question yet?”

That pause can be enough to redirect you.

🧍‍♂️ Invite a Check-In

Try:

“Is that clear, or do you want more detail?”

It puts the listener in the driver’s seat and gives you a natural stopping point.

Sometimes, saying less starts with doing less and treating ourselves with more compassion.

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I Hear You,

Coach Brooke