How do I Explain ADHD to Friends and Family?

Explaining the way your brain works to others can be a delicate and difficult topic. It can be especially nerve-racking when talking with a person who we value and have history with like friends and family. We want them to understand our experiences without feeling judged or misunderstood.

Helping our loved ones understand what we’re going through and sharing the struggles we face daily can strengthen the bond we already have!

Let's look at some ways we can open a dialogue about our complex neurological condition...

What is ADHD?

It’s a neurological condition that affects a person’s ability to initiate and sustain focus, control impulses and emotions, manage time and organization effectively. More than just hyperactivity or inattention, it affects how the brain processes and deals with information.

ADHD causes executive dysfunction, a deficit in our abilities to function daily. Everyone experiences different dysfunctions with differing levels of severity.

Consider reviewing the chart below and identifying your problem areas to help when describing your symptoms.

Answer their Questions & Clarify Misconceptions

Despite it being one of the most commonly diagnosed neurological disorders, there are still many stereotypes and stigmas around what ADHD really is.

"Ohh shiny thing."

"ADHD isn't real, just an excuse for being lazy."

"Everyone's a little ADHD these days."

"You don't look like you have ADHD."

"SQURRIEL!"

Clarify any misconceptions and remind them that ADHD is a legitimate medical condition. Not a result of not trying hard enough.

Our brains are just wired differently, which can make some tasks more challenging and require more creative methods to get the job done!

Share how ADHD affects you specifically

Once you’ve covered the basics, shift the conversation to your personal experience. This is where you can help your friends and family understand how ADHD specifically impacts you. Highlight how everyone with ADHD experiences it differently with their own set of challenges and strengths.

You can say things like...

“It makes it hard to start and focus on boring tasks, even if I know it’s important.”
“I tend to interrupt conversations when I get really excited and don’t want to forget.”
“It’s difficult to judge how long I’ve spent on something or how much time a distraction might take.”
“It makes organization especially difficult and I can very easily forget where I put things.”

Why ADHD can be a Strength

Remember that ADHD isn't all negatives! It can bring out some amazing character traits that can help us be successful in life and make us great people to be around.

Highlight the strengths of ADHD and how it might help to make you…

Funny
Creative
Perceptive
Curious
Passionate
Persistent
Empathetic
A lifelong learner
...And so much more.

How They Can Support

After explaining what ADHD is and how it affects you, it’s important to ask for understanding and support. Let your loved ones know how they can help you navigate your ADHD.

Here are some ways you might ask for support:

Patience: Ask for patience when you’re struggling to focus, complete tasks, or manage your emotions. Explain that sometimes you need extra time or a little help staying on track.
Clear Communication: Encourage open and clear communication. For example, you might ask your friends and family to be direct if they need something from you, or to gently remind you if you forget something important.
Encouragement: Positive reinforcement can go a long way. Let your loved ones know that their encouragement and understanding can make a big difference in how you manage your ADHD.

You can even just say...

"Knowing that you understand what I’m going through helps me feel more supported and less frustrated when I struggle."

Keep the Conversation Open

Let them know that you always welcome questions and provide your favorite resources if they’re interested in learning more. They might have concerns or want to learn more about how ADHD affects you. Being open to their questions can foster a deeper understanding and strengthen your relationship.

You could say...